HE KISSED HER MOUTH AND THEN HER CHEEK LIKE THAT ONE KISS WASN’T ENOUGH
AND SHE’S SO HAPPY AFTERWARDS HER BABY IS DOING A GOOD THING FOR CHARITY
[JUMPS OUT OF PLANE WITH NO PARACHUTE WHILE SCREAMING ‘I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP’]
One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice lady of some sort of christian denomination handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.
got a pilonidal abscess, had it for 3 days now, been on meds for 2. I finally cracked and sobbed the pain is so bad, i can’t even explain how fucking bad it hurts. I want my mummy :(